Meet our Women

Lori

After 18 years in an abusive relationship Lori decided to leave with her three children. A relationship that also included alcohol and drugs had finally taken its toll and in an effort to escape Lori found herself addicted not only to alcohol and drugs but also gambling. When Lori met someone who promised to be the loving mate she had always hoped for, she and her children moved in, only to find herself in another abusive relationship. And even though Lori was no longer doing drugs she had continued her alcohol addiction, often consuming a fifth of alcohol a day. In addition, she found she was no longer making good decisions for herself or her children. She ended up losing her job.

Finally Lori had enough and left with her children, seeking refuge with friends and family but when those relationships became strained she had nowhere else to turn and ended up on the streets, losing custody of her youngest son. Now she had lost everything and was beginning to question how she had ended up in two abusive relationships. That’s when a friend referred her to the Keeler Women’s Center.

At first she signed up for individual counseling with Ciemantha Stubblefield, a Keeler intern. Then she became involved with Marla’s class, Affirmations for Women. But it wasn’t until she went to Marla’s All Addictions group that she really began to make a change.

When Lori first arrived at Keeler Women’s Center she knew she needed help but wasn’t ready to stop drinking. “MarIa’s class was instrumental in taking the bottle out of my hand. It’s all about women empowering women. The [Benedictine] Sisters brought me back from my darkest place ever. They didn’t give up on me. They never once judged me. They were always there with hugs, prayers and support.”

Lori knows there’s more work to be done but feels much stronger than when she first walked into Keeler Center over a year ago. She has hope now because she knows that she deserves better for herself than what she was settling for. When she looks at her three children she knows she did something right. “My children always knew I loved them despite everything I was going through.” The two oldest are now living in Dallas and both have good careers with bright futures. Her son is still a teenager and she hopes to regain custody of him soon.

She recently moved into a homeless shelter and if she stays on track she will qualify for transitional housing. When asked what her goals for the future are Lori shares, “I want to give back. I want to go back to school to become certified in a helping profession.” She said Keeler Center helped give her the confidence and self-love to do that.

“In the Affirmations class we are told to repeat this affirmation 100 times a day. I am kind, I am confident, I am happy, I am beautiful and I’m on the road to success. At first I couldn’t say it because I didn’t believe it about myself. Now I say it every day and I’m already noticing a difference. Marla says that what our mind believes becomes our reality.”

When asked what she would tell other women seeking help from the Keeler Women’s Center she said, “If you are reaching for the slightest bit of help they are there to take your hand and from there you can reach for the stars.


Ms. Lazarus' Story

She is a single mom with four children at home. A year ago, she “died” and was reborn! “It’s a miracle of God’s Love,” says Ms. Lazarus, smiling. “Being led to the Keeler Women’s Center literally saved my life, my soul, and my children.”

Ms. Lazarus had grown up in a very abusive family, and married an abusive man. Her husband was physically and emotionally abusive to her and the children, and they lived in fear. They also went hungry because he was selfish with his money. The kids were hurt and angry, and did not understand why their mom could not give them what they needed, and they eventually stopped talking to her. Ms. Lz feared they would run away and get into serious trouble.

She tried to break away from her husband, but did not have the strength or the resources. She felt ashamed, alone, and increasingly invisible, wrapped in “a gray silence.” She tried to talk to ministers at different churches, but they just told her she was married and God didn’t allow divorce.

She became so depressed she could hardly function, and finally became so weak she could not get out of bed. “I just couldn’t fight anymore and didn’t have the strength to live,” she says. “I didn’t feel like I was a person; I had lost all hope and just wanted to die. I turned my face to the wall prepared to die and went to sleep, expecting to never wake up.”

She doesn’t remember how many days she slept, but she did wake up. She opened her eyes, and realized she felt different. “I sat up drank some water, and was moved to reach for my Bible -- I desperately needed something, anything, from God.”

She continues, “The pages fell open to the verse, ‘Before you were born, I knew you.’ (Jer. 5:1) I felt that was really God speaking to me saying, ‘You are a real person, you are not alone, and I created you out of Love, to love and be loved.’ Somehow, this gave me a sense of being God’s daughter, and it gave me the desire to live and fight again--not not my own strength, but with God’s. This was my turning point, my ‘resurrection’.”

She gathered the strength to ask for help once more when her child’s school principal noticed she was struggling. The principal referred her to a therapist at the Keeler Women’s Center where she received help with depression and with practical needs such as utilities, medicines, home repairs, and parenting classes. “It was the first time in my life that I felt like I was not a victim, and that step by step, I could become a whole person rather than live in fear and despair.”

Even her kids began saying she looked different, that something had changed in her. “They began to actually SEE me as a person, and I was no longer invisible to myself,” says Ms. Lazarus. “I can now see myself through the eyes of Christ who gave his life for me, and now gives me His love, hope and strength. Because I’ve changed, I can see others through Christ’s eyes, and that allows them to change.”

This inner healing has also enabled her to help her children to deal with their father’s abuse by understanding why he is abusive, as well as their own strength. “The kids have become calmer,” she says. “They know they can’t change their father, but they understand they can change themselves, and that they don’t have to take his abuse.”

The main thing is that fear and shame are gone. Her kids are all doing well in school now, and Ms. Lazarus is continuing therapy and taking many classes and workshops at the Keeler Women’s Center. “If it were not for the therapy I receive, and the other wonderful women at Keeler Women’s Center who care so much about me as a person, I could never have made it.”

She knows from experience that God answers the prayer of the soul in distress. “I know Christ saved me,” she testifies, “and I praise Him with Psalm 18: ‘The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; in Him will I trust. He is my shield, the rock of my salvation, and my refuge, my savior who saves me from violence. The waves of death encircled me...in my distress I called out to the Lord. He drew me from deep waters and delivered me from the enemy too strong for me.’ With the power of Christ’s love in me, I know nothing can destroy me anymore!”


To contact Keeler Women's Center:
Sr. Carol Ann Petersen, Director
Keeler Women's Center
2220 Central
Kansas City, Kansas 66102
913.906.8990
email: kwc@mountosb.org